Toddler Aikido - What I Learned About Parenting From the Martial Arts

I studied martial arts for many years, and I haverequires more patience than trying to get a toddler to
decided that raising toddlers is the best possible trainingdrop what he's doing and go to the car to get in his
in conflict management. As anyone that has studiedcar seat (or, for that matter, to go anywhere, in a
martial arts (or watched Karate Kid) knows, classictimely manner?) What could possibly be more humbling
martial arts are about conflict management first, andthan potty training? And is there any situation that
fighting second. You are supposed to avoid conflict atrequires more emotional self-control than dealing with a
all costs - avoid doing harm. Only under the most dire'terrible two' tantrum?
circumstances are you justified in using your art. TheAfter reading several toddler management books, I
inner self-awareness and control required to do this ishave also concluded that toddler management
partially how martial arts and spirituality became linked.techniques are basically all variations on age-old martial
That's why martial arts movies that show trainingarts tactics. Consider:
sequences always have lots ofDistraction: What parent hasn't used this time-honored
standing-in-the-rain-on-one-leg-overnight scenes, ortechnique to get their toddler to do, or allow, something
doing-the-teacher's-laundry-for-a-year sequences. Thethey don't want? Need to change a diaper on a
student is supposed to be developing patience, humility,reluctant little one? Give her your cell phone. Want to
and self-control. Well, those methods have nothing onget her dressed? Turn on the Wiggles. It's basically the
raising a toddler - or two, as in my case, with two-yearequivalent of a karate 'feint' - distracting your opponent
old twins (and a 4-year old big sister to boot.) Whatwith a fake move in order to get at them elsewhere.