| y"> | | | | the consequences of not setting boundaries for |
| Have you seen Roald Dahl's "Charlie and the | | | | children |
| Chocolate Factory?" Watching the movie recently | | | | As a parent, it isn't easy being the disciplinarian. It's no |
| caused me to think about boundaries, and how children | | | | fun constantly reprimanding our children. Yet this is |
| desperately need them. | | | | exactly what is needed for our children to develop |
| To recap the movie, Willy Wonka is a famous candy | | | | emotional hygiene. As a parent, you are in a position of |
| maker who opens his doors to the five lucky children | | | | authority. Take authority over your child's temper |
| who have found his Golden Tickets inside chocolate | | | | tantrums, refusal to cooperate, eating too much junk |
| bars. When Charlie and the other children go inside the | | | | food, and other misbehavior. Clearly explain what is |
| secluded factory, they see many amazing things. | | | | appropriate and what isn't. Set boundaries and enforce |
| However, one by one, the children's bad behavior and | | | | them. |
| personality flaws (caused by a lack of boundaries) | | | | Ultimately, boundaries make children feel safe. From a |
| gets them into trouble. | | | | child's perspective, life is unpredictable and sometimes |
| A boundary is nothing more than a limit. Boundaries | | | | overwhelming. When we set limits, children understand |
| force children to develop self-control, abide by rules, | | | | what is expected of them socially, emotionally and |
| and conduct themselves in an orderly way. We tell our | | | | physically. When children are conditioned to behave |
| children not to touch the hot stovetop or electrical | | | | properly, this behavior eventually becomes automatic |
| outlets. These are safety rules. We should also | | | | and natural. In the long run, parental discipline will pay |
| confront our children when they're being rude, | | | | off. Your children will learn what is expected of them |
| disrespectful, selfish, or angry--before things get out of | | | | and act accordingly. |
| hand. When there are no boundaries, children do | | | | The best time to start setting boundaries is when |
| whatever they want, whenever they please. It is a | | | | children are at least two, three or four years old. Your |
| downward spiral, as "Charlie in the Chocolate Factory" | | | | boundaries should include simple instructions about |
| shows. | | | | safety (such as "look both ways before you cross the |
| In the movie, the children with winning tickets (except | | | | street") and guidelines for proper behavior. As toddlers, |
| Charlie) were raised by permissive parents who didn't | | | | children can be taught to control their temper, not to |
| have the heart to set boundaries. Veruca gets | | | | throw things, to share their toys, take turns, and so |
| whatever she wants by yelling. Mike is addicted to TV, | | | | forth. |
| and his parents don't have the guts to turn it off. | | | | All children yearn to feel safe. They want to know |
| Augustus is addicted to food, and has a double chin to | | | | what's expected of them. When we set boundaries, |
| prove it. Rounding up the bunch is Violet, who is | | | | we enable our children to be happy, emotionally stable |
| cut-throat competitive about everything from | | | | and well adjusted. Like Charlie in the movie, our children |
| karate-kicking to gum smacking,. Yes it's fictional, but | | | | will have the best possible start in life when we set |
| "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" a telling tale about | | | | boundaries and enforce them. |