| My students and clients have constantly heard | | | | with the same focus and desire for purpose, |
| me stress that our Martial Art is more than | | | | power, and interdependence (as opposed to |
| just a physical discipline; that it is a | | | | dependence or co-dependence) in their |
| discipline that develops both the mind and | | | | affiliations. Many lifelong friendships have |
| body. This is so important that Soke Masaaki | | | | begun in the dojo ("martial arts training |
| Hatsumi, the grand master of our lineages, | | | | hall"). Here are some tips on how to choose |
| has made it the primary thrust of just about | | | | friends that might be right for you. |
| every one of his books about Ninpo and | | | | |
| Martial Arts in general. | | | | [a] Look for people who share the same basic |
| | | | values that you do. The Martial arts teach |
| The presence of mind that your training | | | | certain values and principles that you should |
| demands helps you make wise and thoughtful | | | | know to look for. Honesty, respect, |
| decisions. Often, these decisions involve | | | | individuality - these are all good qualities |
| choosing others as friends - and all of us | | | | that a lot of people share. Having friends |
| would like to choose good friends - people we | | | | with these qualities will make it a lot |
| can consider real "team players." | | | | easier for you to feel relaxed and at ease |
| | | | when you're with them. You want to develop |
| It's sometimes very mysterious why we choose | | | | friendships that will be both fun and |
| who we do as team players. Often we like a | | | | rewarding - mutually beneficial to all |
| person right away based on some intuitive | | | | parties involved. One person should never |
| thought or feeling. When asked, we say that | | | | carry the burden of trying to make a |
| it just "felt" right. Other times we may | | | | relationship "work." |
| observe someone for a while with admiration, | | | | |
| and build up to a formal introduction. | | | | [b] Look for people who respect your |
| | | | decisions. Your friends will have different |
| Friendship is a wonderful thing and is | | | | tastes than you do. They should respect your |
| vitally important for personal growth and | | | | freedom of choice, just as you should respect |
| success. It can be found on the Ninja's | | | | theirs. Sometimes you may feel that a friend |
| Kongokai mandala used in Japanese Mikkyo | | | | is not making a positive choice. Discuss |
| esoteric mind-science training. Found in the | | | | these issues. Nothing is more important to |
| 'wind' realm which represents surrendering | | | | friendship than communication and honesty. |
| oneself to a greater good where the total | | | | Discuss things with parents or significant |
| result produced is equal to much more than | | | | others and your instructor(s) as well. |
| just the sum of the parts added together. | | | | |
| | | | [c] Look for people who are real team |
| Friendship itself is sometimes sparked by | | | | players. You know what that means: people who |
| what we call "vibes," or a strange and | | | | are willing to stick by you through thick and |
| electric power of attraction. This is what | | | | thin, who will be there when you need them, |
| gives it such a terrific and seemingly | | | | and will show you the understanding that you |
| magical power to tie people together so | | | | in turn give back. A friend you know you can |
| closely. All the same, our first impressions | | | | depend on is one you will probably have for |
| can often be mistaken. We've all made | | | | life. |
| mistakes before in the friends we've chosen. | | | | |
| Often, we'd like to ignore, forget, or | | | | There will be times when you feel that a |
| believe that we had anything to do with the | | | | friend of yours is consistently making bad |
| selection, but we shouldn't. It's these | | | | choices, or is not treating you with respect. |
| lessons that remind us that we are human and | | | | The Ninja Warrior takes pride in |
| make mistakes, as-well-as the fact that not | | | | understanding: try to see where your friend |
| everyone we meet will enter into a | | | | is coming from, and try to resolve any |
| relationship (whether business, personal, | | | | differences you might have. Don't be afraid |
| etc.), for the same reasons that we do. It's | | | | to talk to your parents, spouse, or your |
| not right or wrong - good or bad. It's just | | | | instructor. They have the benefit of |
| life. | | | | experience, and are always looking out for |
| | | | your best interests. There are very few |
| There's really no way to be 100% certain that | | | | things as precious as having good friends, |
| everyone, or anyone, you choose as a friend | | | | and you should not let them go easily. Hold |
| will turn out to be a good team player. But, | | | | onto your friendships; let them know you |
| the Martial Arts Academy 'is' a terrific | | | | value them and do your best to solve problems |
| place to meet new people, especially those | | | | as quickly as they arise. Trust your |
| with many of the same interests, and often | | | | instincts and follow your heart! |