The Importance of Friendship

My students and clients have constantly heard mepower, and interdependence (as opposed to
stress that our Martial Art is more than just a physicaldependence or co-dependence) in their affiliations.
discipline; that it is a discipline that develops both theMany lifelong friendships have begun in the dojo
mind and body. This is so important that Soke Masaaki("martial arts training hall"). Here are some tips on how
Hatsumi, the grand master of our lineages, has made itto choose friends that might be right for you.
the primary thrust of just about every one of his[a] Look for people who share the same basic values
books about Ninpo and Martial Arts in general.that you do. The Martial arts teach certain values and
The presence of mind that your training demandsprinciples that you should know to look for. Honesty,
helps you make wise and thoughtful decisions. Often,respect, individuality - these are all good qualities that a
these decisions involve choosing others as friends -lot of people share. Having friends with these qualities
and all of us would like to choose good friends -will make it a lot easier for you to feel relaxed and at
people we can consider real "team players."ease when you're with them. You want to develop
It's sometimes very mysterious why we choose whofriendships that will be both fun and rewarding -
we do as team players. Often we like a person rightmutually beneficial to all parties involved. One person
away based on some intuitive thought or feeling. Whenshould never carry the burden of trying to make a
asked, we say that it just "felt" right. Other times werelationship "work."
may observe someone for a while with admiration,[b] Look for people who respect your decisions. Your
and build up to a formal introduction.friends will have different tastes than you do. They
Friendship is a wonderful thing and is vitally importantshould respect your freedom of choice, just as you
for personal growth and success. It can be found onshould respect theirs. Sometimes you may feel that a
the Ninja's Kongokai mandala used in Japanese Mikkyofriend is not making a positive choice. Discuss these
esoteric mind-science training. Found in the 'wind' realmissues. Nothing is more important to friendship than
which represents surrendering oneself to a greatercommunication and honesty. Discuss things with
good where the total result produced is equal to muchparents or significant others and your instructor(s) as
more than just the sum of the parts added together.well.
Friendship itself is sometimes sparked by what we call[c] Look for people who are real team players. You
"vibes," or a strange and electric power of attraction.know what that means: people who are willing to stick
This is what gives it such a terrific and seeminglyby you through thick and thin, who will be there when
magical power to tie people together so closely. All theyou need them, and will show you the understanding
same, our first impressions can often be mistaken.that you in turn give back. A friend you know you can
We've all made mistakes before in the friends we'vedepend on is one you will probably have for life.
chosen. Often, we'd like to ignore, forget, or believeThere will be times when you feel that a friend of
that we had anything to do with the selection, but weyours is consistently making bad choices, or is not
shouldn't. It's these lessons that remind us that we aretreating you with respect. The Ninja Warrior takes
human and make mistakes, as-well-as the fact thatpride in understanding: try to see where your friend is
not everyone we meet will enter into a relationshipcoming from, and try to resolve any differences you
(whether business, personal, etc.), for the samemight have. Don't be afraid to talk to your parents,
reasons that we do. It's not right or wrong - good orspouse, or your instructor. They have the benefit of
bad. It's just life.experience, and are always looking out for your best
There's really no way to be 100% certain thatinterests. There are very few things as precious as
everyone, or anyone, you choose as a friend will turnhaving good friends, and you should not let them go
out to be a good team player. But, the Martial Artseasily. Hold onto your friendships; let them know you
Academy 'is' a terrific place to meet new people,value them and do your best to solve problems as
especially those with many of the same interests, andquickly as they arise. Trust your instincts and follow
often with the same focus and desire for purpose,your heart!